Thankful For An All-Knowing, Ever Present God

Yesterday was a hard day, although it didn’t start off that way. I wanted to share a little testimony of God’s faithfulness to me, because he deserves every bit of praise.

I woke up to get ready for church on Sunday, catching myself debating on whether to go or not. I was tired, my toddler had woken up way too early, and I’ll be honest, a big part of me didn’t want to put forth the effort of getting ready and out the door on time just to battle with him to be still and quiet the whole service.. and lose like I always do. I will add that God has shown me several times that my effort to go is never in vain, so I held on to His truth and made up my mind I was going. Not today Satan! Soon after, one of my best friends texted me to tell me what a great mom I was, and how, in some cute little videos of my son I sent her, she could hear the love and patience in my voice, and it brought her to tears, and to never doubt myself when it comes to parenting, because I’m doing my best to lead him in Love and with the guidance of God. It was so sweet, but in that moment I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those things, and how later on that day, I would be re-reading it through different eyes.

Back to church- of course shortly into the service we ended up in the nursery, and when the whining of my sweet boy turned into body flailing fits, I decided I’d had enough and it was time to go. We had a trip planned to the aquarium later that day, so I hoped for an afternoon of new adventures with my little family. That fantasy was great while it lasted.

Our adventures consisted of lots of screaming, crying, testing limits, and running. A lot of running. Let me get this off my chest: toddlers have no sense of direction, and I am way out of shape for all this chasing business. By the time we left, I was a sweaty and anxiety-ridden hot mess. I decided the anxiety was too much, and I just needed to go home. I cried the whole way, and felt so defeated that I couldn’t control my own child’s meltdowns. I kept wondering, will he grow up and be rebellious and disobedient? I gave him my phone as a last resort- distraction to stop the crying, does that mean he won’t respect me? Am I just messing up this whole parenting thing? It kind of seems silly now. But when you feel like everyone is staring at you expecting you to “fix” your child, it feels crucial you make the “right” decision. Whatever that is.

I get home and text my friend who had texted me that morning. I told her how stressed I was, and all about my crazy afternoon. Her response was great, “Sarah, there was a reason I woke up with you on my heart, and felt the need to tell you that. Re- read my text. God wanted me to say that for a reason.” As if I hadn’t cried enough, I burst out in tears. God gave me what I needed before I knew I needed it. Even better, when I re-read the message, I had a whole new appreciation for the kind words of a friend, and her obedience to God. I sat in my bathroom crying and thanking God for his grace.

I sat down that night to read my Bible and read just the first verse of Proverbs chapter 30, “I am weary, God, but I can prevail.” I felt this in my soul. I read the last few chapters in Psalms, which contains beautiful verses of praise, reflecting on God’s unfailing love for His people. I know this isn’t one of those jaw dropping, life transforming testimonies, but sometimes the little things can teach us so much. Tonight I’m going to sleep knowing that my God is the same God I read about in the Old Testament, the same God who saved me years ago, and The God who already knows my future, who is in my future.

Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”
Categories Faith

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