When hard times come upon you, there is one truth you always need to hold on to.
God will never stop pursuing you.
Even under the layers of hurt, guilt, shame, and lies- the main components self destruction-there is no place that exists that God cannot overcome to free you from the burden of sin.
Micah 7:18 says “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.”
Not only does God forgive and show endless mercy, he delights in it. He loves when we turn ourselves over to him.
That also means he loves intervening in our darkest hour and using what we think will be our ending to create a new beginning.
There was a few years of my life between the ages of about 19-21 where I headed into a downward spiral. I was out of touch with God, never went to church, and couldn’t remember the last time I prayed. In the back of my mind I knew better, but I pushed that thought aside and focused on what I could gain from the world.
I became addicted to the party life, and once I was legal I spent every chance I could get at my favorite college bar. But I wasn’t satisfied with just hanging around friends and talking and dancing. I craved attention I felt was lacking in my relationship, and my goal was to lose control. Literally. Anytime I started drinking, my goal was to become incoherent, black out- drunk.
It was dangerous to my mental, physical and spiritual well being. I got a temporary high off of that lifestyle but as soon as the night was over, I felt empty.
During this period of my life I was living away from home, which was probably another reason I got so out of hand. I had no one to hold me accountable and it was easy to hide my true intentions from those who were physically far away. Meanwhile, God was always there.
The urge to move back home became overwhelming and I went back and forth for awhile. I knew the life I was living was wrong. I knew it wasn’t healthy. I knew my mom was praying for me. I knew God was patiently waiting. So even though 99 percent of me still longed for the things of the world, I asked God for help.
And y’all know my God came to the rescue. In an interesting way, too. I remember soon after this I had some stomach problems and couldn’t really drink anymore without feeling sick to my stomach. I remember telling my mom and that in that moment the word ‘toxic’ stuck in my mind. She told me that was God trying to make me see what I was doing to myself and I don’t need to live that life anymore.
I moved home shortly after and although I still hit some bumps in the road and didn’t stop drinking completely, eventually I did stop and to this day I can’t drink even a small glass of any sort of alcohol without suffering a horrible upset stomach. But I have no urge to drink it anyway, so I’m really not missing out.
I am thankful for God’s intervention in my life and for breaking the bond I had with sin. God sees us when we are headed for destruction. Sometimes he will do things to intervene that may make you feel hopeless, but if you trust Him and push through, the blessing in disguise will come to light and God’s plan for your life will surely be revealed. ❤️